I was given a wake up call this morning. And not just a "wake up" call in literal terms but in changing my life. I had an old friend, who at this point will remain unnamed, call me up. She literally told me to get off my butt and do what I need to to follow my dreams. For weeks, maybe months, I have been in misery because I still had unfinished business in the gym. Yet I couldn't train while I was coaching, not really at least. And honestly, I was still just making excuses.
For the last year I have been trying to figure out what I could do to regain my dreams I had left behind. I could not come up with a concrete plan. I wonder if that is why God sent this person to me. It's as though God had a very genuine plan for my life in meeting her that day so many years ago. For awhile, I wondered if things really had not happened as planned, that there was no such thing as destiny. And now, I am once again questioning fate and reality. Was this message an important message that had been thought out before my own birth onto this earth? I will soon find out.
Today I am coming out of retirement.
I know I'm not ready to let go yet.
I have unfinished business.
With that said, I have to also inform you that I am done coaching at this point. As soon as season is done, so is my coaching.
I am returning to my sport.
To go for a dream I had long thought was over.
Starting now.
I am going to try for college again. Not college in general, but college gymnastics. After I talked to my friend and she told me my beam and floor could make the line up for team. Even if the events weren't quite there, she still suggested I go train with the college gym team for the summer. She then told me to talk to my own coach, Brian, and see what he thought about the idea. So I did.
After I had told him the idea. His response was simple. "You need to get stronger, you need to be in the weight room everyday." He told me I had the potential and could get the skills college coaches were looking for, but I had to get in shape first. Everything he said was positive and he seemed to think I had a decent chance as well. For the first time in a long time I had people supporting my dreams. Behind my goals 100%.
I told my friend about the conversation I had just had with Brian. We were both pleased at what Brian had thought. "Let's do it!" She said to me. In a few weeks we will go talk to the college coach. I pray to God that the conversation will go well. Maybe the reason why I have never gotten the nerve up to directly ask the college coach about being on her team is because I was afraid of rejection. I was scared to be turned down. I am still nervous about it, but I know that I'm more prepared for it. There has been a good portion of this year where I gave up on myself. And because of it, I am willing to be told "no", but that doesn't mean I'm gonna give up.
It took a past figure in my life to make me believe in myself again. She seems to have been the only one who hasn't given up on me. The only one who is willing to put herself out to me to help me achieve something worthwhile. I can never tell her how grateful I am that God put her in my life. She helped save my gymnastics as well as my life. For if she had not saved my gymnastics, I would have found no life worth living, I would not be where I am in the world today without her, I would not have accomplished as much as I have without her and there is no way I would have an opportunity like the one placed in front of me today.
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