Basically, I didn't make it into Cirque, but I wasn't ready yet so that was what I was hoping and planning on happening. However, even though I was rejected, the trip gave me confidence in myself in knowing that I actually had the skills to make it. I just hadn't been working them consistently to feel ready to do them. Looking back, it actually makes me laugh that the woman told me I just needed to get some double backs, off of bars, rod floor and tumble tramp. I nodded, but I really actually DO have double backs at those 3 places... I just hadn't done them this weekend because the equiptment was new and I took too long to warm up. Like I said though, I wasn't ready and I didn't really want to make it to Cirque just yet..Not til I know what I'm doing with my life.
The next big decision I have made was that I am not returning to college next year which may mean that this summer will be the last one I have as a gymnast... :( It makes me sad yet at the same time I feel like I'm not going anywhere. I keep relapsing; Injuries, training for a few weeks then not training at all, and other personal issues I've been dealing with. Maybe it is time to be done. Yet since Kamloops, something happened.
I went into the gym last night. My very first gym, wait...technically 2nd, but first gym I was on team. And I did amazing!! I was tumbling incredibly well. Landing all of my back 1 1/2 twists to my feet. Then I was doing double backs easily on the tumble tramp and I wasn't sweating with nervousness. I felt really calm and relaxed about the skill. I ended with a back 1 1/2 to punch front on the tumble tramp.
Then on bars I was finally making my casts all the way to handstand. I then proceeded to make a full length, level 7ish routine...easily... Kip, cast hs, 2 iar clear hips to 60+ degrees, jump to high bar, kip, cast, giant, giant and then did a layout flyaway without anyone standing there! That would be the first one by myself in over a year! Plus the routine was almost too easy! I went onto blind, front giants and felt more confident in myself. I kept my shoulders open a lot better and was almost making the front giant, finally! I then did toe-hands, made 2 iar, almost 3!
Here are the picture(s) I promised:
I hate this picture with a passion. If only I hadn't sounded so dumb when I talked to Sabrina, then I wouldn't have had such an irritated-awkward-half smile on my face. Ugh...
Here's where the Canadian nationals were held!
And the gymnastics center I auditioned in!
We weren't allowed to take any footage of the actual audition.
And here is Canada's flag. =D
It just makes me wonder why...I don't understand why I love gymnastics this much, to literally come into the gym everyday even though I have so many reasons not to. Now I don't know what to do. All I can focus on right now is living each day, in each moment. Not worrying about the future or the past. Just enjoy the journey. Afterall, that is part of my life purpose; learning to live in the present.
That's SO COOL you tried out for Cirque! There is a circus arts school in seattle... you should check it out! I hear it's pretty amazing!
ReplyDeleteand by "not going back to college" do you mean just not going back to the gymnastics part or really dropping college all together? because I've done that... twice. and although I have learned a lot about me and about what I really want when it comes to my "future" dropping out of college might have been the one thing I regret. It has been SO hard to go back. and I finally am... but it's just not the same. and it's taken me three times as long. I urge you to reconsider that one. even if you just take online classes for a while. DONT quit on that one.