Beam Time!

My list of new skills keeps increasing!

I have been struggling with deciding what to do with my future. I had been trying to go for a chance to be a SPU gymnast, that idea might have gone out the door with the D+ I recieved on my last paper in English...

I came down to a few conclusions.

Either go back college and compete club at Auburn, drop out of college which means no gymnastics or try out for Cirque Du Soliel.

You may think I'm kidding about the last option. I'm not. I talked to my mom and we are most likely traveling up to Kamloops for the open audition this month. Even if I don't get through to the selection process, it will still give me an opportunity to experience what it's like and then I may try again for the next open audition in like a year or something.

God works in mysterious ways.
For years I have desperately wanted to go to an "elite" level gym with good coaches. For years I have been stuck in a place I didn't want to be training at. A gym that had no optionals, short training hours and some coaches who didn't really care. Then I got injured. The injury took me out of the sport for 6+ months. I went back to my "original" gym to get back in shape and then to a gym in Wenatchee that was kind enough to allow me to get strong again. The coach got me in shape without killing me or expecting me to do more than I could handle. It was the first step in coming back to the sport. I traveled across to state to train at another gym, Grace Gymnastics, and the coaches helped me get back to almost where I had left off but before I had made it, another injury sidelined me. I headed to Tricities to train with one of my past coaches who helped keep me in shape despite the injury. It wasn't enough time to recover and soon enough I was out again. For the past 6 months I have been coaching at Grace, I planned about just taking 6 months off and then returning to the sport. Unfortuantly, people kept telling me otherwise. After only a few months I felt like maybe this was the end. I tried to stay motivated but apparently Grace was not the place to continue. I tried a couple of gyms but I was still waiting for the injury to heal. Finally I knew I had to get back, it was now or never. My coach in Tricities talked to the Auburn coaches and that's where I decided to train. I understand now why God waited for this year, this moment, before he allowed me to find the gym I'd always dreamt of. I was much too immature at my first gym. I was disrespectful and going through my own issues that had to be worked out. I grew up through injuries and learned more about myself but there was no way I would've survived the conditioning or hours after my first injury. It took me 6 months before I actually was in decent shape. It's still a struggle and now, instead of clinging to the sport like I did before I just allow it to be a part of me. If I decide to quit, then so be it. Now it doesn't matter, this part of my life God has allowed me to choose what I want to do. Whatever I decide will eventually lead me down the path I will follow. For now, I have many different roads to choose from. And at this present moment, I pick gymnastics.

With all of that being said, I awoke early this morning; 5:30 to be exact. And drove to practice from my home town. It was a long journey and I felt jittery and nervous for practice. I had accomplished the task I needed to get done last week which was going over on vault again, so I wasn't worried, just nervous. Lol.

I felt tired the whole way and was worried it would affect my gymnastics. The conditioning Coach Peter gave us was intense but it felt good once we made it through. Then we went to beam. I was excited for this event and it had been the event I had hoped we would go to. I eagerly did the warm up. Then I made Coach Peter laugh when I skipped past the backhandsprings and first went for backtucks. I warmed up backhandsprings on floor. I was about to head up to a high beam when Coach Peter said, "Show me a backhandspring, layout". I easily did one. That needs to go on the beam he stated. I figure he meant low...Nope, he meant high..with a pad. I did a few backhandsprings. He watched and yelled, "you should've gone on that one!" I kept balking, I had never done this skill. Not even on a low beam, well I had Rachel spot me on them 3+ years ago but still... Yet Coach Peter believed in me, he kept reminding me that I had to throw out the old Janet. "if you can't leave behind who you were, then we can't move forward." He stated, and I knew he couldn't be more right. Part of me, (the old me) couldn't believe I was actually going to go for this. Everything in my past told me why there was no way I could do it. Yet there was another part of me who just kept saying, "focuse on the skills, one at a time." I was shaking a lot. I went to the floor to do some more on a line. Coach Peter walked by and said, "this is a mental task, not a physical one." That statement in itself meant a lot. It told me that I physically could do it if I just let go of my thoughts. I stood on the beam and powerful thoughts swarmed through my mind, this part of your life is unscripted, you can choose whatever you want to do and it will not matter. And I with that true freedom I prepared myself. "This is your last one Janet," Coach Peter said. I nodded. I stood there, shaking, and then leaned back. I saw Lindsay vault on the rod floor drill as I pushed off into my backhandspring, it was straight and with that I jumped into the air and flipped over just like I had done on the floor many times. Not only that but I landed easily on the beam. I wooped and hollered, scaring Coach Peter, (I'm sure) as I jumped into his arms...Literally. Looking back on that I should've controlled my joy, but I was too much in the moment. A beautiful, breath-taking moment I thought I would never again get the chance to experience since my last wrist injury. Apparently, "never say never" is a true statement. =)